Stormy Sky
by arian
Summary: Next fic after Responsible Adults. Not all that fond of this one. Again, please read in sequence.


Stormy Sky

Stormy Sky

By Arian

Author's note: I'm so going to get flamed for this one…. Ack. But… y'know… *sighs* Nope. I have no excuse. I guess this comes after "Responsible Adults".

From "Indestructible" by Poole/Martin/Poole

"… We argue sometimes and we fear we put the knife in too deep 

But even when madness heads, it's only gladness inside…"

"… You take me as I am, Mister, I've a little red devil on my shoe, 

Always stay real strong, you can take the rough with the smooth,

I know that we forget what we mean to say, too proud sometimes

Guess we're only human…"

Arian stared up at the stars. They fascinated her. Everything fascinated her, though. She sighed quietly as she watched, wondering how anything could be so beautiful. It almost didn't seem fair to anything else that lived, for how could anything that existed hope to compare to something so wondrous?

"Arian?" Laguna's voice startled her out of her reverie. She had thought he was asleep. She had been sure he was sleeping soundly when she crept up and opened the door to the stars. 

The woman didn't answer. She didn't want to jar herself out of the cloud she was floating in. To speak now seemed coarse and unrefined after the silent, entrancing music of the stars. She turned around and shot Laguna a questioning look.

He was watching her curiously from where he lay. "It's late. Come back to bed." He said softly. 

Arian shook her head. "In a minute. I just want to watch the sky for a while." She turned back to the dark night sky and Laguna fell silent again, allowing her to have her whim. However, there was only so long she could stand there with his green eyes burning enticingly into her back. 

She gave the sky a last wistful glance and pulled the door shut. Walking across, she sat next to where Laguna was rolled on his side, watching every movement she made. She wished irritably that he wouldn't do that. It made her feel self-conscious. "Happy now?" She smiled.

"Not quite. Not yet." He grinned at her, pulling her down beneath him. "This is better." He whispered, peppering her face with kisses until she giggled quietly.

"Yeah. I reckon it is." Her tone of voice was suddenly very low and wicked, sending shivers down Laguna's spine. 

"I reckon it can get better…?" He hazarded, only a slight change in tone indicating it was a question. 

Arian smiled a smile that matched her tone completely, her blue eyes very dark and tempting. "I reckon it can." Her face grew suddenly very serious again. "Do you think that the stars –"

"Shush." Laguna laughed at her and lay a finger across her lips, cutting her off mid-sentence.

__

Why? She asked silently, a slight frown conveying the question. 

"You're going to start getting all philosophical on me. I know you are. You always do at this time of night. _Especially_ when you've been out looking at stars or whatever the latest whim is." He raised an eyebrow, amused. "I don't know why you ask _me_ these things. I don't know the answers anymore than you."

Arian gave him an expressive look that spoke volumes about her opinion of how much philosophy she thought Laguna was capable of. She still didn't speak. When she could use expressions like that there was no real need. 

He tilted his head to one side. "Where were we? Before you threw that question out of nowhere and distracted me?" He asked thoughtfully, absently tracing random patterns across her lips while he spoke.

Her eyes widened almost imperceptibly at the sensation and she felt herself growing weak and boneless. She heard a slight whimper in the distance and suddenly realised that it had come from her. Her face filled with consternation and she glared at Laguna. "Dammit!" She said loudly, hating it. She hated the way that she did things without meaning to, without the thought ever entering her mind. She hated that there was nothing she could do to stop it. It was too close to surrender of the soul for her liking, and that was something she never did. Her soul was her own, and it wasn't surrendered up to anyone. It never had been and that had been one of the few things that had stopped her falling completely off the edge into insanity. 

She scowled up at Laguna's oh-so-smug expression and laughed. "You needn't look so very pleased with yourself. It's not like you did it deliberately."

"Does that make a difference?" He asked, still amused. He was always amused at something, never able to wipe the smile off his face.

Arian frowned slightly. "I don't know…" Her face brightened up again quickly. "Why don't you find out?" She suggested. 

She kissed him softly and her mind ran through her mantra. It was always the same. The words in her head had never changed. Laguna had just made it so that she had to amend them a bit, but the words were the same. _It's not surrender. It's not. Just surrender of the body, not the soul. Never that. I love him, and I'd do anything he asked, but I can't surrender my soul. I can't completely give up everything. I don't want to. I love him, but never so deep that it'll touch my soul. I have to hold on to something. _She closed her eyes, almost wishing that she could let everything go. Almost… _Old habits die hard, I guess._ She thought ruefully.

****************

__

There was something I was thinking about… Arian thought a while later, frowning slightly at the ceiling as if she were trying to see the sky beyond it. _Something about stars… I wish I could remember. _She gave up on the elusive thought, reasoning that it would probably come back to her eventually.

The woman's blue eyes were large and dreamy as she lifted a hand to the head of dark hair that rested on her shoulder, burrowing her face into it. _Why does hair always smell so nice?_ She reflected.

"I love you, y'know that?" He said suddenly, quietly.

Smiling fondly, Arian nodded slightly. "Yeah. I had more or less noticed that. Love you too, but I wish you were a bit lighter."

Laguna's head lifted instantly, concerned. "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise-"

"No. It's ok. Don't move." She smiled amiably. "I was just commenting. I didn't mean anything by it." She wrapped her arms tight around him, refusing to let him go anywhere. She quite liked the warmth, even if he was heavy. It was comfortable.

He snuggled back into her shoulder with a contented noise, brushing a kiss against her collarbone and Arian was happy to stay silent, holding him as if he were a child.

It was always this that meant the most to her. This was what she cherished; the simple warmth of having someone who loved her close, warmth that, in the end, had nothing to do with temperature. 

Her thoughts wandered and she realised abruptly that she didn't really have any friends she could count purely as her own. There had been a few people in Timber that she had thought of in that way, but she had never kept in touch. It didn't seem important enough. Before that, there had been no one. No. That wasn't true. After he had made her pour out her life story, she had counted Laguna as her friend. 

Of course, with Laguna had come the rest of those she now counted as friends. Kiros, Ward and Ellone, not to mention the group of SeeDs from Balamb Garden. Squall… wasn't really counted as a friend. He didn't hate her anymore, but he didn't like her either. He tried to be indifferent, but Arian didn't like that and, like Seifer before her, made sure that he _couldn't_ ignore her. 

Her mind hit on one thought quite suddenly and although she suspected she was right, it scared her a little. She was almost completely sure that she was right about it, but she didn't care for the idea. 

"Laguna?" She asked thoughtfully.

"Hmm?" 

"I was wondering about something…" She paused awkwardly, not sure how to phrase the question. "Do you ever talk about me, with Kiros and Ward? You know, about _us_?"

Laguna's head shot up sharply and he pulled his arms out from beneath her to rest on his elbows. "No!" He said indignantly, cross that she had to ask.

"Oh." Arian sounded almost disappointed, and in a way, she was. She had been sure that he would have and as much as she hated the idea, she also hated being wrong.

"What? You _want_ me to?" He asked incredulously. 

She gave a facial shrug and tried to sort out the misunderstanding. "No. But I sort of expected it. Isn't that what guys do?"

Laguna was actually starting to get angry with her now, hurt that she had asked and hurt that that was her opinion of him. "For crying out loud, Arian, what did you want me to say? Well, sure, I had a great time the other night, but I sure as hell wish that she'd stop screaming my name?!" 

"Liar!" She yelled at him, flinging herself into a sitting position, her temper flaring up instantly. "That's slander! The only time _that's_ ever happened is when we've been arguing! Don't flatter yourself!" She added spitefully. 

"Yeah, that's right. That's what I expected." He retorted loudly. "No one's quite good enough for you, are they? Isn't that always the way of it? Well don't start getting too high and mighty. You're human too, and a horribly insecure one at that."

"I'm not insecure!" She defended. "I don't give in to anyone, not even you!"

"Yes you do." He said witheringly. "You always do, even if you can't bear to admit it."

"No." She muttered quietly, almost to herself. "Not the soul. Never that. Not surrender of the soul."

Laguna gave her another look that almost bordered on disgust. "Fine. If it makes you happy to believe that, then fine. But I know it is. And so do you really." He placed his hand over her heart. "In here, you do. You _know_."

His words hit home and Arian glared at him. "I hate you!" She practically screamed at him.

"No, you don't. Give over, Arian. You can't hate me and you can't leave. We both know that so don't use idle threats."

Her face twisted in loathing, knowing that he was absolutely right, but she needed to keep yelling at him. She just couldn't stop. To stop now would make her accept what he had said and she couldn't do that. "Moron! I hate you, I really do! You have no idea what I –"

"Oh, be quiet. Like I said, no one's quite good enough for you. Maybe if you stand on a street corner long enough, you'll find someone who is, eventually. It's just out there, don't let me stop you." He said cruelly.

Arian stopped instantly and stared at him in silence for a moment. When she came to her senses again she was absolutely incensed. "You _dare_ throw that back at me? You _dare_?" She clenched her shaking fists, wishing for once that she could hit him. She calmed herself and looked coldly at him. "I hope that saying that made you feel good. Besides, you know full well that there is someone good enough for me and that you're second best. That's all you'll ever be!" She threw the remark at him, hoping to hurt him.

He looked pointedly at her. "So are you." He couldn't stop himself. They had both hurt each other far too much to stop now and the more angry and hurt they got, the worse the insults became. 

Laguna ignored her and lay back down, facing away from her. "Shut up and go to sleep, Arian, or sod off to your own room. Just be quiet, yeah?"

"Why am I not surprised?" She said bitterly. "Sure, Laguna. Just take whatever you want from me and throw me aside when you're done. Just like everybody else. Don't worry yourself about what I want."

Mentally, Laguna flinched, hearing the pain in her voice, but he couldn't bring himself to apologise or give up the fight. "Go be a martyr, Arian. It's what you're good at." He spoke without turning to face her, staring at a fixed point in the air in front of him.

"Fine!" The blonde woman shouted, then she dropped her voice to a vicious whisper. "I'm not like you. I don't have fantasies, Laguna. Did you know that? Because as nice as sex may be, it doesn't even have a _meaning_ for me anymore! But if you want to take away the one thing that _does_ have a meaning, if you want to deprive me of the one thing that I _need_, then you go right ahead. If you want to take malicious pleasure in making me wake up alone, then who am I to deny you your little thrill? And I hope you get a kick out of it, Laguna. I really hope it makes you happy!"

Arian stood and walked around the room, methodically picking up everything she could see that was hers, then stepped out the door, slamming it as loudly as she could. She seethed as she stalked down the corridor, wishing she could stamp her feet as she went, but knowing that if she did, she would drop something. She was carrying a little too much to make stamping an option.

She stayed angry, preserving the feeling and refusing to let guilt set in. She hadn't actually told Laguna the truth. She hadn't lied, either, but what she had said was a mixture of half-truths, making it sound as though their relationship was one sided, which, she knew, it wasn't.

She hadn't meant to start an argument, but he had hurt her with some of his remarks and she couldn't back down. Somehow or other, she never could.

***************

Laguna lay in the dark. He hadn't moved since she had left, hadn't even turned to watch her walk out. He was still infuriated at her but he had said things he didn't mean. He couldn't even remember how it had started now. It was something stupid, trivial, but now things had been said that couldn't be unsaid. 

__

I won't apologise. He thought, unusually vehemently. _I'm always the one who patches things up. It's always me who goes crawling back after a fight. Well not this time! I'm sick of her temper tantrums and her pride! And I'm sick of the whims that she constantly drags out of thin air. I'm sick to death of _her_! _He tried to convince himself that what he was thinking was what he felt, but he gave up, feeling exhausted from the effort. 

Laguna buried his head under a pillow and sulked. It was idiotic and childish, but he didn't care. What he had said to Arian was mostly true, but he knew it worked both ways. She could yell and scream but she still loved him. And that went for him as well, however much he might sometimes wish it otherwise. 

"Oh, damn her!" He muttered. "Why does every little thing have to be so difficult? Why can't she ever admit she's wrong? Why does she have to be such a complete and utter psychological screw up?" He knew _that_ answer, and it made him feel guilty, so that thought was immediately cut off.

All Laguna really wanted to do was go to sleep. He just wanted to close his eyes and forget everything, but he couldn't. He couldn't rest without her there. Sleep eluded him until light began to shine through the window, guilty thoughts racing with the angry ones. He knew exactly how Arian would be feeling about now and he felt like a traitor. He had promised himself that he wouldn't let her feel like that again, but in spite of everything, he couldn't give up this fight. Not this time.

***************

Arian sat crossed legged in the centre of her bed, staring fiercely at the wall, thinking thoughts that matched the expression on her face. Somewhere on the other side of the wall was Laguna and glaring in such a way made her feel better. 

__

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! The thoughts streamed through her mind as tears ran down her cheeks. 

She had decided not to sleep. She couldn't bear waking up cold and alone, so she didn't sleep. It was easier to stay awake and concentrate on how much she hated that man right now. And it _was_ something she had to concentrate on, because if her mind drifted, she found herself growing cordial towards him again. 

The woman knew that Laguna had been right about a lot of things, but she couldn't accept it as truth. She didn't even know how.

***************

Kiros dragged himself out of his room, glaring pointedly at Laguna's closed door before starting down the corridor. Ellone was just pulling her door shut when he passed and he saw the weary look on her face. 

"Let me guess. You heard it too." He said dryly.

The girl nodded, a worried look flitting across her features. "Not properly. I couldn't hear _what_ they were arguing about, but it was loud enough to keep me up." She glanced nervously across towards Arian's room. "Do you think it'll be alright? It sounded… a lot more serious than anything that's happened before."

"I really don't know _what's_ going on with them, Elle. I try and keep my nose out of it." They stopped abruptly as Laguna walked straight out his room and stalked down the corridor in moody silence, his face as sleepless as everyone else's was this morning. 

"Um, hi." Ellone ventured, but he'd already walked past them.

"I'll talk with him. He'll have to sort out his attitude. _We_ haven't done anything and he can't block us out." Kiros put his hands on his hips and shook his head. "Everything'll work out. They always bicker."

"Not like that they don't." Elle said quietly, smiling as Ward emerged sporting the same expression as everyone else. "Couldn't sleep, huh?" She asked. 

Ward indicated just what his current opinion of Laguna and Arian was and Kiros gave a short laugh. 

"I think we all feel that way right now. Let's go and see what actually went on." He started down the corridor in the same direction that Laguna had gone, but Ellone interrupted.

"He won't tell you." She tilted her head to one side as the man turned to face her. 

"I just want to know how long this is going to last for. Hell, I don't want to know _what_ went on!" 

Ellone smiled. "I'll help you then. We'll all go and pester him, and Arian too, when she gets up, until things get back to normal."

***************

Arian was still sat in her room. For a long time, she contemplated not eating today. She wasn't entirely sure why, but it seemed like it would make her feel better. It was food from Laguna's kitchen anyhow, and she didn't want anything to do with him. She stopped that line of thought when she realised that the whole building was, in fact, his as well and that hadn't stopped her staying in it. 

She couldn't leave anyway. He had been right about that. She couldn't leave him and she couldn't really hate him. She was too emotionally dependant on him for that, just as he was dependant on her. But she _could_ be very, _very_ angry at him and that was what she planned to be for the foreseeable future. 

She stared at the wall for a long time, deciding what to do now. She finally settled on the idea that she wanted to make a lot of noise. She had run out of insults to hurl last night, but there were other, more interesting ways to make noise. With that thought in mind, she left the room to take a trip into Esthar's shopping mall.

Arian returned an hour later and had just set her bag of noise-to-annoy-Laguna down when Ellone peered around the doorway.

"Can I come in?" The girl asked tentatively, unsure what answer she'd receive.

The blonde woman turned in surprise and smiled at Elle. She had no quarrel with the dainty, hesitant girl in the doorway. After all, it wasn't Ellone's fault that her Uncle was being a jerk.

"Sure, Elle. What did you want?" 

"Well, um, I just wanted to talk to you about a few things… Um, about Laguna actually." She winced as Arian's face instantly hardened. 

"I don't want to talk about him. You should have heard what he was saying!"

"I did. Well, some of it, anyway. And I heard some of what you said too. I think almost everyone in the building did. But you can't really stay mad at him forever." Elle told the woman sensibly.

"I'm damn well going to try!" Arian folded her arms across her chest in annoyance and Ellone started to walk back towards the door. "Oh, Kiros wants to speak to you. He's in the office, I think."

***************

Meanwhile, Kiros had been telling his friend, in no uncertain terms, that he did _not_ want a repeat performance of the argument this evening. 

"Keep your squabbles between yourselves! I really would like a good night's sleep and none of us can sleep while you're screaming at each other!"

Laguna glared out of the window, refusing to meet Kiros' eyes. "She started it." He muttered.

"I don't care who started it, it's going to stop! Do you understand me? I don't interfere often," He caught Laguna's sceptical expression. "And you can take that look off your face right now. I don't interfere often, but when you and Arian start to upset everyone else, someone has to step in and stop you." Kiros looked pointedly at him. "Did you ever stop to think about Ellone? You know how easily she picks up on your mood. If you start sulking, she's going to get very upset, very quickly. Do you want her to feel like that?"

Laguna didn't answer but continued to stare out of the window in sullen silence.

"Oh, it's like talking to a child!" Kiros threw his hands into the air and gave up on babying his friend. It was time to stop being nice about it. "One way or another, Laguna, you're going to get your act together and stop this nonsense. Both of you are." Ward waved at him from the doorway, seeing Ellone round the corner, and Kiros walked out.

__

Plan B. He thought to himself. _Let's see if this works. _They slipped into another door and waited until Ellone and Arian had walked past, supposedly on their way to speak to Kiros. 

Ellone told Arian she'd wait outside and pulled the door shut after the woman. Kiros and Ward quickly re-emerged and locked the door.

Once she'd entered, Arian frowned at Elle's abrupt behaviour. It didn't seem like the girl at all. Her eyes flickered up and saw the single occupant of the room, still stood by the window, and she turned and tried to open the door. Finding it was locked, she hammered loudly on it.

"Let me out!" She yelled, angry at being tricked into the situation.

Laguna turned and walked to the desk, trying to ignore her, pretending interest in the papers on the desk. 

At length, Arian stopped yelling and sulked by the window, just as Laguna had done. She didn't take kindly to being forced into anything. She knew whose idea this had been. It must have been Kiros. Ward was a mystery to her and Ellone would never have instigated this by herself. The idea was exactly the sort of thing Kiros would think of.

For a long time, she stared at the view, resolutely trying to forget that Laguna existed, just as he was trying to ignore her. 

Silence reigned for at least an hour, and the group outside began to think their idea was working. Arian's mind started to wander and she began to think about the abstract ideas that always plagued her mind when it wasn't occupied with something. Lost in her thoughts, she had completely forgotten about the argument and wandered over to where Laguna sat. 

"What are you doing?" She asked softly, absently touching his hair. 

He flinched away and stared at the paper in front of him, trying to pretend like it was the most interesting thing in the world. "Leave me alone." He said bluntly. "You've made it perfectly clear you want as little to do with me as possible."

Arian pulled back suddenly, as if burnt, having snapped out of her musings and realised what she had been doing. "You were the one who started it! I never said anything like that! You were the one who told me to leave!"

Laguna stood and turned quickly. "I didn't _tell_ you to! Why am I not surprised that you've twisted around so that nothing's _your_ fault! It's never _your_ fault, is it?"

Arian glared back at him, all of the anger instantly flaring again. "Only because it _wasn't _my fault! I asked a simple question! You could have given me an answer without starting an argument!" She leaned forwards until their faces were an inch apart. "You said things I'm not going to forgive. You said things you have no right to say."

"I have _every_ right! If I don't tell you these things then who will? You're wrong. And stupid." He added.

"This coming from _you?!_" She screeched.

Outside, Ward looked up at Kiros. _You've got to let them out. They'll end up killing each other if you don't. _

"He's right." Ellone said quietly. "It's not going to work. She's too proud and Uncle Laguna's decided to be stubborn." She sighed. "They'll have to work this out some other way."

Kiros winced as there was another scream from the office and he relented and unlocked the door. Arian shot out and stormed down the corridor. "That went well." The dark man commented dryly. 

***************

Arian once again sat seething in her room, waiting until she was sure Laguna would have returned to his own room before she fished out the bag she had brought in with her earlier. She made herself comfortable, sitting in the middle of her bed, staring at the wall again. Pushing her blonde hair back out of her way, she reached into the bag and pulled out its contents, unwrapping it carefully from the tissue paper that protected it. 

It was a set of simple white porcelain plates and she lifted the top one from the pile, inspecting it carefully, running her long fingers over the surface. She watched the light shining from the cold, smooth surface curiously, finding a fascination there. Anything could fascinate her, given the chance.

Finally, she lifted it in her hands and threw it at the wall, watching passively as it smashed into fragments that fell to the ground. 

__

I won't sleep tonight. I can't sleep and wake up alone. I won't have it. I won't. So I won't sleep. And if I don't sleep, I'll be damned if I'm going to let him_ sleep!_ The thoughts coursed angrily in her head, although her face remained completely serene as she hurled another plate into the wall. 

A malignant smile crossed her face as she heard a thump from the other side of the wall and Laguna's voice echoed through to her. "Arian! What do you think you're playing at?!"

"Sleep well, Laguna." She said pleasantly, throwing another plate at the point she judged his voice to be coming from.

Arian couldn't make out his muttering but threw a plate in response anyway.

A loud tap on her door distracted her and she turned her head inquisitively, wondering who it was. 

"Please stop it, Arian." Kiros' pained tones pleaded her. "I'd really like to sleep tonight. Can't you argue with him in the daylight?"

"Don't worry. I still have plenty of plates left yet." She said brightly. The whole episode was making her feel much better. "I really am sorry that I'm disturbing you Kiros, but I'm not dropping the subject."

"No. You're dropping plates instead." The man said dryly. She made no response, wanting to stop the conversation. "Arian?" Kiros listened for a moment longer, then decided to give up and wait until she ran out of plates, reasoning that it would probably be easier in the long run.

Arian continued to throw her plates in a remarkably tranquil fashion, with Laguna yelling for her to stop from the other side of the wall. Eventually she lifted the last plate, running her hands over it, just like she had with the first. Glancing up at the pile of broken crockery that had collected, she sighed. This one plate was no different to the others, but it was the last and that gave it a certain poetic speciality in her fragmented mind. 

The plate flickered the light into her eyes as she spun it carefully in her hands. It seemed to be so much more than it was, it seemed so very important for a moment. Caught up in her fascination, Arian lifted the plate and gave it a rueful look. "I'm sorry." She murmured, almost to herself. Then the last plate left her fingertips and crashed into the wall, just as all the others had. There wasn't really anything else she could've done with it, not after the fate all its fellows had met.

She tilted her head sadly, listening to the last chiming sounds as the pieces fell down the pile of shattered, white porcelain. 

At length, everything quietened, and the rest of the occupants found sleep. With her anger spent, Arian sat and cried. For the first time in a long time, she couldn't see a way out. She couldn't see a way to end the argument. She couldn't admit that Laguna had been right. She didn't know how to admit that maybe, just maybe, she loved him more than she wanted to. She _was_ horribly insecure but her mind had been so messed up that she wasn't even sure she could live without the simple walls she had built inside. 

She sighed. _If he is right, then I suppose I am living without those walls. But what if he isn't? I don't know how to act without them. I won't know what to do. I don't know how to back down. I don't even know how to say I'm sorry. I don't know… I've never known how to admit defeat. My life was centred on plain stubbornness for too long. It was what kept me alive._

With tears still streaming down her face, she walked down the corridor, then out into the night air. Lightening stuck a distant point and the dark sky thundered above her as it started to rain.

***************

A very haggard looking Kiros glared at Laguna the following evening, fed up with the poor amount of sleep he'd been getting recently. "Come with me." He said shortly, wordlessly leading Laguna out of the room and up to one of the highest windows in the building.

The dark man pointed to a small patch of green that could be seen through the heavy rain. "Arian's sat down there. She's been down there for as long as I've been up. I suspect she's been there most of last night and all of today. In the pouring rain. Go and get her."

"Why should I?" Laguna retorted. "If she wants to be stupid and sit out there, then let her!"

"Do you want her to die?" Kiros said flatly and his friend looked up at him, stunned. 

"What? What do you mean?"

"People catch cold in the rain, Laguna. They get pneumonia and some of them die."

Laguna's green eyes flickered uncertainly between the window and his friend, then he turned his back on them both. "People don't die from that anymore." He said dismissively. "You're just trying to scare me." 

"Damn right I am!" Kiros gritted his teeth. "I don't know _why_ she's out there. I don't even know what you were arguing about, but I _do_ know that if she catches something now, she won't even try to fight it." He sighed. "Have you ever asked what's kept her alive for so long? Do you know what she lives for?"

"The sun on her face and the wind in her hair." Laguna answered almost automatically.

"Exactly. But that was when she travelled. She doesn't do that anymore. Does that suggest to you that she found something else instead? Does that tell you she found something she thought was better?"

"I guess." He turned back to his friend. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to say! I don't care!"

"You idiot!" Kiros half yelled at him in despair. "She lives for _you_! And how you've managed to miss it I do not know! Now she's sat out there, trying to work her way out of this, and all she knows for sure is that you're never going to speak another civil word to her again, let alone give any of the affection she needs. For all I know she could be _hoping_ to catch something and die. It wouldn't surprise me. Now, for the sake of us all, go down there and get her to come inside." The man stopped and glared hard at his friend. "Go and get her, Laguna."

Laguna gave him a long look, about to protest, before abruptly changing his mind and stalking out.

***************

The woman sat alone, her back against one of the trees in the small grove she had helped create. The water dripped down her face with her tears and she was cold and wet to the bone, but it felt better to be out here crying. Her hair fell forwards, the darkened strands so saturated that the water ran down them instead of being soaked up.

She pulled her knees in close to her and shivered, only partly through cold. _I don't know what to do. I don't know… I can't admit… I think I already have… I don't know! _Uncertainty plagued her and she closed her eyes tight in despair, unable to find an answer that she could understand. 

"Come back inside." Laguna said shortly, appearing not far from where she sat, only lightly spattered with the rain that soaked her.

She shook her head and shivered again, turning her face up to him, looking hopelessly bedraggled. For a moment she looked nothing more than a child, drenched with rain and tears, eyes helplessly wide and unhappy. "You were right." She whispered in an almost horrified tone. "You were right."

Laguna bit his lip, trying to stay distanced. "Come back home. You'll get ill if you sit out here."

Again, the woman shook her head, agitatedly. _I can't. I want to stay here, in the cold and the misery. I was wrong. And now I'm lost as well._

He shook his head and gave up, reaching down to pick her up in his arms. She made no protest, but her limbs hung limp, her blue eyes still wide, showing all her turmoil. 

He made his way back into the building and took her back upstairs, passing Kiros on the way. 

"Made up, then?" The other man grinned, and Laguna shot him an irritated look. 

"No. But I can't just leave her out there, can I?" He sighed in exasperation, continuing until he reached his room. 

He set Arian on the edge of the bed and walked across to the bathroom. "Here." He threw a towel across but she made no move to catch it and it landed next to her.

Sitting motionless, she watched her hands twisting in patterns as she dripped on everything around her. Laguna rolled his eyes and sat next to her, pulling the sodden clothes from her while her dead eyes stared ahead. 

"C'mon, Arian. Don't do this. You're freaking me out here." He muttered, wrapping the large towel around her. 

Her eyes finally lifted. "You were right." She repeated what she had said earlier. 

Laguna waited for a while but that appeared to be all she wanted to say right now. It appeared to be the only thing she was capable of saying. He fetched another towel and started to wipe the water from her arms. He didn't really know what was going on in her head, but she wasn't in any condition to look after herself, so he would look after her until she was.

He mopped the water gently from her face and Arian watched with an expression that could only be described as terror, not directed at him, but at something in her thoughts.

"You were right." She whispered again, and Laguna stopped to listen to her. "You… you said I was insecure and I am. And I don't know how to accept defeat." She swallowed and wiped at her eyes. "And I think that… you were right about that other thing too. You touch my soul."

"And that's it?" Laguna gave her a half smile. "It's taken you nearly two years just to admit that? And what's the problem with it anyhow?"

She shook her head. "I can't… I don't know _how_ to live like it! I don't know what I want anymore! And I can't think straight!" She burst out miserably, her eyes racing around to look anywhere but at him. "I said things I didn't mean…" She began. "I'm… sort of sorry. Sort of very sorry."

Grinning, he hugged her tight for a moment. "It's easy to live like it. I'll help you. But how can you be sort of very sorry?" He sighed. "I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have said what I said. No matter how mad at you I was."

Arian gave him a tired smile. "Now that's over, do you think we can do something that's a little more enjoyable? I have an idea…"

Laguna looked bemusedly at her, knowing he probably shouldn't say anything unless he wanted to start the argument again, but unable to help himself. "Whatever happened to 'blah blah it doesn't mean anything blah blah'?"

"That's not what I said." She defended. "I didn't say the word 'blah' even once." Her face saddened a little. "And I wasn't lying. It doesn't. Not in the way that you understand." She glanced up at him again, with a very wicked grin written across her face. "But that doesn't mean it isn't fun!"

Laughing, Laguna hugged her again. "You are such a strange person, you know that?"

"Yes." She said thoughtfully. "I had noticed that on one or two occasions." Arian watched as he drew back with an incomprehensible expression on his face. 

"What? What is it?" She questioned. 

Laguna's face looked serious enough, but there was still that little glint of humour that never quite left. "I wanna ask you somethin'."

Arian was starting to get edgy. _What's going on? Why do I feel like I'm the only one who isn't getting the joke?_

"Marry me." He said gleefully. "Oh, go on! It'll be fun, you'll see!"

The woman stared dumbfounded as he sighed and slipped to the floor in front of her. 

"Damn. Forgot about that bit." He said simply. 

"Please tell me you're joking." She murmured. "You know how I feel about this."

Laguna tilted his head to one side. "No. No joke. And, yeah, I know you think it's a really bad idea. But if I don't have a problem with it then you shouldn't either. You're practically my wife in everything but name anyway, so what harm does a ring and a bit of ceremony do?" He paused. "You don't have a last name, do you? Wouldn't you like one?" He grinned and decided to play his trump card. "It'd make me really happy, Arian. Please?"

"You're insane." She whispered in amazement.

"Nope. You're the crazy one. I'm dead serious here. Say yes. Go on! Pleeeease?" He entreated, throwing his arms around her waist.

Arian blinked down at him. _Why not? Why the hell not? You've given him practically everything else, Arian, so what difference does it make?_

"Um…" She tried to find her voice."Yeah. Ok. If you want to."

Laguna looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "That's it? Couldn't you phrase it a bit nicer or somethin'?"

"I said yes, didn't I?"

"Yeah. You did." He smiled ruefully. "Don't suppose I could take back the question?"

Arian hit his shoulder lightly. "Don't you bloody well dare!" She laughed.

"I don't have a ring…" He said with a pitiful look. "I didn't really plan this."

The blonde woman pulled a ring from her right hand and held it up. "Here. You can borrow this." She watched in a cloud of bemusement as he slipped it onto her finger, still slightly dazed by the whole thing. "Feels kinda funny on that hand." She murmured to herself. "I guess I'll just have to get used to it." She shook her head, the whole issue seemed to be so far removed from reality it was funny. "So, when are you planning on getting married? Tonight?" She laughed.

"Sounds good to me." 

"You can't be serious!" Arian choked incredulously. "You can't mean that!"

Laguna grinned. "Yeah. Why not? Why don't we just sneak away someplace and not tell anyone? It'll be funny!"

Arian giggled, the idea appealing to her sense of humour immediately. Common sense also told her that it would probably be best in the long run. Squall's opinion was likely to be very loud and objective.

"We're kinda gonna need witnesses or something. Besides, Ellone would be heartbroken if you didn't tell her." She paused thoughtfully. "This might just work… But you'll have fun trying to find somewhere at this time of night."

"Ah, I'll just get someone to open a place up. I'll throw my weight around a bit if I have to." He shrugged, still grinning like a mad man. "Go and round up Kiros, Ward and Ellone, but don't tell them where they're going! I'll phone and wake up a minister. Boy, they're gonna love me, waking 'em up at this time of night!"

***************

"Is this absolutely necessary?" Kiros groaned. "I hoped that I'd actually be able to sleep tonight, being as you've decided to stop arguing."

"Sorry." Arian smiled brightly. "But it's sort of important." She stifled the insane giggling that threatened to overcome her and smoothed down the front of her blue skirt. She had decided that white probably wouldn't be appropriate.

Ellone gave her a baffled look and Ward merely shrugged, all three of them wondering what the hell was going on. 

"All set." Laguna said, joining the small group. 

"Would you like to enlighten us yet?" Kiros drawled. 

Laguna looked thoughtfully at Arian. "No. I think we'd prefer to wait a bit yet. You might try and talk us out of it."

"That comment doesn't fill me with confidence." Kiros sighed, wondering just what kind of havoc was going to be wreaked.

The pair merely grinned manically at each other, a grin that stayed on their faces as they all walked out into Esthar, the night air crisp after the storm.

"What's going on?" Ellone whispered quietly to Kiros and Ward as they trailed through the streets after the pair. "Not long ago they were at each others throats and now…" She waved a hand towards Arian and Laguna, who were still finding something immensely funny.

Ward shrugged. None of them knew the answer. When they stopped outside a small registry office, they began to get premonitions of the immediate future.

"They're not serious…" Kiros muttered. "Couldn't they at least have waited until the sun was up?"

Ellone laughed gleefully and threw her arms around her uncle, ecstatically happy, while Ward gave a good-natured smile at Kiros' response.

"Shouldn't be too taxing for you, Kiros. All you have to do is sign your name." Arian smiled, trying not to sound as intensely nervous as she felt. 

Laguna glanced across at her and snickered at the slight tremor in her voice. "No escape." He murmured quietly, motioning her inside the door. 

"Oh, who's running?" She breathed back, laughing at the shake she heard in her reply.

***************

Anyone who spotted the small group as they walked back along the streets of Esthar would have supposed that they had been drinking.

Laguna and Arian were still laughing hysterically, like it was the biggest joke in the world, and Ellone giggled with them.

Ward smiled indulgently, but Kiros looked at his companions in mild disgust. "This isn't supposed to be funny. Are you sure you're all taking this seriously enough?"

The two didn't answer, but they did try and look slightly more sober, at least until Ellone produced a few flowers she had filched from inside the small building and pressed them into Arian's hand.

"There." The girl said, and they erupted into giggles again, carrying out a mock-procession for a few steps while Ellone hummed the Wedding March.

"Oh honestly…" Kiros rolled his eyes.

"Hey!" Arian stopped suddenly. "We don't have a cake! Laguna, can we get a cake?"

"You're right. We don't. Kiros, d'ya reckon…?"

"No! I'll get you a bloody cake tomorrow, but can we _please_ go home? So I can get some urgently required rest?"

Arian sniggered quietly at Kiros' outburst and watched as he walked ahead of them. "I got an idea…" She whispered something to Laguna and he grinned.

"Hey, Kiros!" He called out. "Is it OK for me to take a holiday? It's kinda traditional about now. Besides, I haven't had a holiday for ages and the stress is building up." He snickered.

"_Stress?!_" You don't _do_ anything!" Kiros yelled back.

"You were right. He _didn't_ like that idea, did he?" Laguna whispered to Arian. "Hey, what are you doing?" He asked incredulously, watching as she slipped the ring from her finger to rub at the skin underneath.

"It feels funny. I'm not used to it."

"Well put it back!" He exploded. "Jeez, you've only been wearing the thing for two minutes and you wanna take it off!"

"Oh shush your nonsense." She chided absently, replacing the ring. As they walked, she lifted his hand and peered curiously at the two rings on his finger. There was the older, worn silver band and now above it was a thinner gold circle. Arian laughed quietly.

"What's so funny?"

"No offence, Laguna, but mine should be the silver and hers should be the gold." She smiled.

"Why?"

"My name." She laughed again. "It means silver, you see?"

"Speaking of names," Ellone piped up with an impish smile on her face. "You'll have to get used to signing yours differently."

"Hmm. That's true enough."

"Say it." Laguna said suddenly. "Go on."

Arian gave him a long, suspicious look, before cautiously pronouncing her name. "Arian Loire."

He chuckled gleefully, wrapping his arms round her as she raised one eyebrow.

"Do you want me to remind you how old you are?" She said pointedly.

"No, that's quite alright." He grinned mischievously. "Mrs Loire." He added.

Rolling her eyes, Arian just knew what was going to happen. Laguna was going to tack that onto the end of every remark he made for at least a week, finding it just as funny every single time he did it.

"Don't start calling me that." She sighed wearily. "I have a name, and I'm almost positive you can still remember it, so use it. And if you start on endearments or pet names, I'll just have to be sick."

Laguna looked thoughtful for a moment, trying to come up with a way of shortening her name into something so sweet that she'd hate it.

Ellone caught the look and laughed. "I wouldn't. Or this'd turn out to be the shortest marriage in history."

"Nah. It's alright, Elle." He smirked at Arian. "She promised to… What was it? Honour and obey."

"Like hell I will…" The woman muttered darkly.

As the small group reached the plaza outside the presidential palace, an aide ran up from where he'd been waiting by the lifter.

"We've been looking for you everywhere!" He exclaimed. "We received a call from Balamb Garden. Rinoa Heartilly went into labour a couple of hours ago."

Laguna shouted something incomprehensible and hugged Ellone, who was just as ecstatic.

"It's a conspiracy. I'm _never_ going to get any sleep…" Kiros muttered to Ward.

Arian stood and watched them for a while, then started down one of the pathways that glowed in a soft blue light.

"Where are you going?" Laguna called out to her, wondering if the news had upset her in some way, given her feelings towards Squall.

The woman turned back and grinned. "The Airstation. Don't you wanna come visiting with me? Or are you and Elle gonna stand there all night?"

Author's note: This is just the beginning… There will be another one after this. And aren't you all just jumping up and down, cursing me? Aren't you? No? I'm almost disappointed… *grins* 


End file.
